Shoulder & Body Language

Shoulders Is Where Sensitivity Lies

Our shoulders are a good spot to look for non verbal cues. They are very flexible and visible and they are moved by an emotionally sensitive muscle (the upper trapezius) which makes them highly sensitive.

Whether we dress them or leave them naked, or even the way we dress them will convey different meanings.

Because they are different from feminine shoulders, the display of shoulders in men, robust and thicker, may be motivated by male competition or the desire to appear masculine especially in courtship.

Women may display their shoulder’s slenderness with the same courtship intentions, as a sign of their feminine attributes.

Both men and women unconsciously square our shoulders conveying dominance when we stand tall in an aggressive and dominant attitude. We are preparing for an “attack” and we want to appear stronger and bigger.

As we often carry tension in our shoulders, if we want to make sure if a person is relaxed or tense, we should pay attention to his shoulders: someone who is truly relaxed will have their shoulders held low.

Another important interpretation of the shoulder position is during conversation. In order to tell is someone is really interested or involved in the dialogue taking place, look at his shoulders. If they are facing the interlocutor, then he is focused in the conversation. If, instead, the shoulders are turning away in a different direction, that probably means he wants to leave and his attention is on something else.

Finally there is the typical shoulder-shrug position. It commonly shows helplessness, resignation and or uncertainty. However, in a courtship context it may be used to suggest harmless intent, submission and friendliness in order to build rapport and invite physical approach.